I married my sister's billionaire fiancé as her substitute. Six months later, he still refused to touch me.
Gradually, my heart grew cold. I wanted a divorce.
Then by chance, I overheard his conversation with his buddies.
"Some people are so desperate for their wives they can barely control themselves, but they hold back because they're scared of freaking her out. I'm not naming names."
"Women can't resist temptation. Nathan, if you keep this up, Lily's gonna run off with someone else and you'll be crying too late."
The man being mocked merely took a slow sip of his drink. "If I can't give her what she needs, someone else can. I just want her to come home after she's done being wild."
At that, his friends all laughed. "Don't act so magnanimous. If you're so cool about it, stop posting on your Reddit throwaway every night asking for advice."
My heart skipped. I immediately pulled up Nathan Qin's account.
I saw the pinned post.
[Finally married my crush, but I have an addiction. How do I give her a good experience without scaring her away?]
1
Late at night.
I pulled out the silk nightgown I'd prepared and headed toward Nathan Qin's room.
After we got married, he'd been busy with work. To avoid disturbing me, he'd moved himself into the guest room.
By my count, we hadn't had any physical contact in two weeks.
Nathan had just finished showering. When he saw me sitting on his bed, he froze mid-motion with the towel in his hand.
"What are you doing here?"
His tone wasn't exactly warm.
I looked him up and down. Nathan had an incredible body—even in a bathrobe, I could see the swell of his pecs and the outline of his abs beneath the fabric.
Logically speaking, with his sharp features and elegant fingers, there was no way he could be lacking in that department.
Yet here we were, six months into marriage, and I still hadn't gotten a proper taste.
Refusing to back down, I cut straight to the chase.
"I came to sleep with you."
No matter what excuse he tried to make tonight, I was leaving satisfied.
Nathan looked momentarily stunned. His gaze dropped to what I was wearing, and after a pause, he said simply, "Okay."
That easy?
I was suspicious. As Nathan approached, he actually seemed uncertain, almost hesitant.
Only the small nightlight on the bedside table remained on, casting everything in a warm, dim glow.
Nathan lay down. The cool moisture from his shower surrounded me.
My mind wandered as I wrapped my arm around his waist.
Nathan's entire body went rigid. After a beat, he looked down at me.
His voice came out low and ambiguous in the darkness.
"You want me to help you?"
Without waiting for my answer, he quickly pulled back and opened the nightstand drawer.
"..."
Whatever spark I'd felt died as I watched his practiced movements.
I knew exactly what he was about to do.
He was going to fulfill his husbandly duties—just not with his actual body.
I couldn't help the surge of frustration.
It was always like this.
His pants might as well have been locked shut. Even when he was hard, he refused to use it.
When I saw him pull out a finger cot, my expression went dark.
Annoyed, I snatched it from him and threw it at his chest.
"Help, help, help—you're so uptight you couldn't make anything exciting if you tried!"
Anger sharpened my voice.
The dim light made it impossible to read Nathan's true expression.
But I could feel his dark eyes fixed on me.
Burning.
Perhaps with a trace of confusion.
The hurt welled up inside me like a spring, and I continued my tirade.
"Nathan Qin, if you can't perform, just say so! You're not the only man in the world—I can find someone else!"
We were married. Why did it always feel like he was doing me a charity?
Nathan's voice came out hoarse. "That's not what I meant."
But he still didn't make the next move.
Didn't cup my face or kiss me.
This was the third time.
I'd been completely ready to take things further, only to be rejected again.
The disappointment hit hard.
I grabbed my shirt from the edge of the bed and got up, slamming the door so hard it shook the frame.
2
At Natalie's place.
My phone kept buzzing.
"Not answering?" Natalie glanced at me.
I tilted my head back and took a swig of alcohol. The Marlboro I'd smoked earlier had left my throat burning.
I turned off my phone.
"What kind of garbage cigarettes did you buy? One drag and I can barely talk."
Natalie laughed as she fiddled with the pack. "But they look cool."
She waved it in front of me, effortlessly coaxing the truth out of me with just a few words.
I hadn't planned on hiding anything from her anyway. The problem was, I had a burning question.
"Why won't Nathan touch me?!"
"Maybe he doesn't like women?"
I shook my head.
Nathan had dated girls in high school. Plenty of people had thrown themselves at him over the years, only to be firmly rejected.
An idea surfaced in my mind.
I narrowed my eyes. "Maybe he's staying faithful to my sister who ran off to Paris."
There had always been rumors that Nathan liked the Chen family's elegant eldest daughter. Now it seemed likely.
This marriage was a substitution.
Nathan was supposed to marry my sister Sophia, but she'd abandoned him for her soulmate and run off to Europe with that artist.
Nathan was gentlemanly and polite. In the six months we'd been married, he'd never refused any of my requests—except for that.
But even when he was "helping" me, watching me lost in pleasure, he maintained that cool, restrained expression.
There was never a hint of desire in his eyes. He was like an outsider.
Did he still find me disgusting?
The thought made my head explode.
The hurt I'd pushed down came flooding back.
I slammed my glass on the table.
"I've decided!"
Natalie jumped. "Decided what?"
"Divorce!"
A useless man, no matter how handsome, had to go.
Especially when his heart belonged to someone else.
I, Lily Chen, didn't need him.
"Okay, okay, stop drinking." Natalie thought I was drunk and pulled me toward the bathroom to wash up.
She'd just gotten her nails done and was restless in her sleep. The next morning, I woke up with several red scratches on my neck.
When I turned my phone back on, countless messages flooded in.
All from Nathan.
I returned to the mansion to find him home, which surprised me.
The air was thick with cigarette smoke. The ashtray on the coffee table overflowed with butts.
He looked up. His sharp features were striking.
"You're back?"
His voice was rough.
His gaze landed on the marks on my neck, and his pupils contracted sharply.
The light in his eyes immediately dimmed.
I hadn't slept well at Natalie's, and the cigarettes had made my throat sore.
I wasn't in the mood to deal with him.
Before he could speak, I waved him off, my voice hoarse. "I'm exhausted from last night. I'm going upstairs."
I wasn't joking. I really was planning to divorce Nathan.
A marriage without sexual fulfillment couldn't be happy.
3
But that very night, I came down with a fever.
My body felt heavy, my head foggy.
The door opened.
Nathan had just showered. The scent of mint overwhelmed my senses, nearly suffocating me.
I frowned and pushed him away.
"I don't need your help."
His body tensed. "Then whose help do you need?"
His voice was heavy.
Yet he tried to coax me gently.
"Be good. Take the medicine and you'll feel better."
His cool fingertips touched my lips. The hand resting against his thigh suddenly clenched into a fist.
He stared at my flushed, parted lips, his breathing growing heavier.
I was oblivious, uncomfortable in his embrace. I turned and collapsed onto the bed.
"Okay, you can go now."
Through my daze, I heard the shower running in the bathroom.
Nathan seemed to have gone to take another shower.
...
When I woke again, Nathan had me wrapped entirely in his arms.
The hardness against my leg was unmistakable.
His warm breath fell against my ear. Nathan had also just woken up, still drowsy as he touched my forehead.
"Still a little warm. Looks like the fever hasn't completely broken."
I snapped fully awake.
That's because you're turning me on!
I tried to push him away with my elbow, but he caught my waist with precision.
His rough fingertips traced circles on my skin. The tingling sensation made me let out an involuntary sound.
"Lily."
Nathan said my name softly, his voice low and mesmerizing.
"Should we try?"
"..."
Normally, I would've happily agreed. But after last night, I was already feeling bitter.
To me, this felt like a slap followed by a piece of candy.
He was throwing me scraps.
I'd just been sick. My body was exhausted. I refused coldly.
"I can't handle it."
The man behind me went pale instantly, his breathing shaky.
Nathan pulled back slightly.
He said nothing.
When I turned around, I saw him staring at me with dark, intense eyes, a bitter smile playing at his lips.
"It's my fault. I don't blame you."
I scoffed.
At least he had some self-awareness.
"But please don't push yourself so hard, okay? Having a fever is bad for your body."
Nathan lowered his eyes to hide his true emotions. Without waiting for my response, he got up and went to the closet to get me clothes.
He usually wore silk robes at home, but today he'd only wrapped a towel around his waist.
His lean muscles and V-line were on full display.
My gaze traveled over his tight waist and firm ass. My heart raced a little.
But that was it.
I'd have the same reaction to any attractive man standing in front of me.
Nathan handed me the clothes. I changed right in front of him without any hesitation.
As expected, he quickly turned his head, refusing to let his eyes linger on my body.
What I didn't know was that the moment I left the room, Nathan went straight into my bathroom.
4
A few days later, I realized some of my clothes were missing.
At first, I didn't think much of it. They weren't expensive, and I could afford to replace them.
But eventually, I noticed that even the lacy lingerie set Natalie had bought me last week was gone.
I was baffled. There were no cameras in the house.
There was no way to figure out who the pervert was.
At dinner one night, I finally told Nathan.
"I think we have a thief in the house."
He was sitting at the table, methodically spreading butter on a slice of bread for me.
At my words, he paused.
He didn't look up, his thin lips barely moving.
His composure was the kind that wouldn't crack even if the sky fell.
"What's missing?"
"Underwear."
"..."
I said it casually, but his movements faltered.
The butter knife grazed the small mole on the webbing of his thumb, smearing it.
I narrowed my eyes at his unusual reaction.
"Why so nervous? Don't tell me you're the one stealing them."
Nathan was quiet for a few seconds before he let out a soft laugh. His long, narrow eyes locked onto mine.
"What do you think?"
Before heading to the office, Nathan always dressed impeccably. His vision wasn't too bad, but he still wore gold-rimmed glasses that made his features look even more striking.
Right now, beneath those thin lenses, his dark pupils were colder than the daylight outside.
I laughed softly.
What did I think?
Nathan was so rigid and strait-laced.
Besides, what would he even do with my underwear?
I changed the subject. "What time will you be home tonight? I have something to give you."
The divorce papers were ready.
Nathan handed me the buttered bread, his response quick. "Whenever you want me, I'll come home as soon as I can."
He spoke fast.
So fast I couldn't even parse where one sentence ended and the next began.
His phone rang.
The assistant waiting in the courtyard came forward with his briefcase, reminding him it was time to go.
Nathan left.
I touched my chest where my heart had skipped a beat, then touched my inexplicably burning ears.
I felt flustered.
Couldn't he just talk normally? Why did he have to be so suggestive?
5
After breakfast, I went to the hospital.
The doctor said I had a hormonal imbalance and needed a man to help regulate it.
When Natalie heard, she immediately offered to lend me the eight-pack model and the muscular hunk from her agency.
At the time, I was sitting in the air conditioning, working on sketches for my comic.
My mind was completely focused on perfecting the character design.
I refused immediately.
She hit a nerve. "Haven't you been breaking out lately?"
My chest tightened.
I cursed Nathan in my head again.
I had two new pimples—right on my chin.
"Why settle for the home cooking when you can have something exotic? Besides, you're divorcing soon anyway. Why not give it a try?"
Natalie was persistent.
I put down my pen and thought about it. I still needed inspiration for a side character's face. This could work.
"Just looking. No touching."
It was just elevated testosterone. Once I was divorced, I could find a hundred guys.
But not now.
This wasn't cowardice. I had high moral standards and didn't casually lust after men!
Natalie laughed, clearly not believing in my self-control.
I'd been so confident, but I was proven wrong the moment I went to bed after finishing my sketches.
I had an incredibly vivid, sensual dream.
In it, I was kissing someone passionately, unable to let go.
Our breaths mingled. The man's searing heat, accompanied by wet sounds, pulled me into wave after wave of pleasure.
I was lost in the wild teasing.
Drowning in a world of mutual ecstasy.
On the edge between agony and bliss.
Until—I saw Nathan's face right in front of me.
I woke with a start.
My heart pounded. I was drenched in cold sweat, still reeling from the dream.
My legs were weak as I headed downstairs to get water.
Suddenly, I heard playful voices drifting from the living room.
"Some people are so desperate for their wives they can barely control themselves, but they hold back because they're scared of freaking her out. I'm not naming names."
6
Nathan's childhood friends were all sprawled lazily on the couch, drinks in hand, their tones full of mockery.
"Women can't resist temptation. Nathan, if you keep this up, Lily's gonna run off with someone else and you'll be crying too late."
They'd known Nathan forever and never held back.
He simply picked up his drink and took a slow sip.
His handsome face revealed nothing.
Then he said something that made all his friends burst out laughing.
And I caught something crucial.
They said Nathan had a Reddit throwaway account.
And that he posted on it constantly.
Curious—and eager to catch Nathan in something—I pulled out my phone.
Using the username I'd overheard, I found an account with the same profile picture a